I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wish my penis had a tongue
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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