I will die if light touches me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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