the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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