What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
