vagina is talking i cant
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
