Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
