This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
