$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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