If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
