Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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