We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
