Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
