At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
