just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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