some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
