i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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