If i come over, it means nothing
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
