Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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