I want to stick my p in your. b.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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