Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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