i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
