It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
