Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
