Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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