He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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