Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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