I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
