So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
false alarm, still single
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
