Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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