I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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