Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
