It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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