Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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