ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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