That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His nipple licking is glorious
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