she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
