come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
