it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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