who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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