shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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