Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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