he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
