oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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