I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
