new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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