I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
