I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I will pee on everything he values.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
