After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
