I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
