Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
