some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
