im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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