Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
