Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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